Tick tock tick tock tick tock..
The clock is ticking and time is running. Running out from me. No matter how hard I run after. Age is 21 and 64 years are left expected on me. Minus 5 years for smoking. And that's 59 years. 21 years has passed. Only after i turned the big 2-0, that I realised the importance of time. Time does not exist for us. We exist with the rule bounded by time. We exist for a reason. Time will always be infinite. Regardless if we are dead. Or not. How many of us have been enslaved by the power of time? How many of us fear the threats time shall make on our lives. Life is unpredictable. And I'm talking nonsense.
Why am I talking about time? Time is making me frantic. Time is the mother of my worries now. Time is the basis of all my paranoias. My life is full of questions. Questions that start with when. When will I work? When will you finish study? When will you lead a life on your own? When I will realise my dream? Life is full of whens. Some I have answered. Like when will I be independent. Some I still wondering about the answer.
People say time will tell. Forgive me but I ain't got the time to wait. Action reaction. Cause and effect. I need to make the cause before the effects will start by themselves. The important question is... How will I make the cause? I need to choose it right. 21 years had passed. 3 times of that await me. 2 times of that will I be a slave for society. Slavery not in its truest meaning. But being expected to perform. Can I choose not? Yeah... And I will be better off dead.
Things are looking brighter. But what exactly am I looking for? I need some adventure. I don't wish for a clockwork life. I need to make changes. To my life. But first, it starts with me. Too many flaws I have. Too many things I have to make right with my own self. The desire is there. But where is the passion to keep it burning? I've always been a pessimist. And I've always used this damn good brain of mine to take the easy way out. Should I keep doing like this? Time is running and I've got no options. I need to change. For me. For myself. Always.
